“God decided to test Abraham, so he spoke to him.
Abraham answered, ‘Here I am, LORD.’
The LORD said, ‘Go get Isaac, your only son, the one you dearly love! . . . you must sacrifice him to me on the fires of an altar.’” (22: 1-2 CEV)
==========
God is our “loving Father”, huh?
Are you a parent? Would you ever treat your son or daughter as God treated Abraham?
==================================================================
From the Urban Bible
(No, it doesn’t exist; we’re trying to make a point here.)
“God and God’s homies were hanging out in Heaven.
Bored. Incapable of finding something constructive to do.
‘Hey, man, let’s make an earthquake in In-do-neeezia.’
‘Nah, man, we do that sh*t all the time.’
Suddenly, one bro nudged another bro.
‘Whoa, here come that old fool Abraham.’
‘Alright! Let’s f*ck with Abraham!‘
God yelled, ‘Yo! Abraham! Get yo punk ass over here!‘
Abraham was afraid, so he did as God told him.
God toyed with Abraham, ‘Yo. I see you got a new kid. I didn’t think an old thing like you could even get it up.’
An angry, protective glint flashed in Abraham’s eyes.
‘You think you bad, Abraham? I show you bad,’ God snapped. ‘Kill yo kid, Abraham. You kill yo f*uckin’ kid, or I kills you.’
‘Now! Dammit!” screamed God.
Trembling with fear, Abraham pulled out his knife and aimed it for Isaac’s throat . . . .
God and God’s homies were busting up. One homie was rolling on the ground with laughter ’cause he thought Abraham was so lame.
‘Abraham, you old fool,’ interrupted God, ‘We was just messing, but you done showed that you know who’s the boss. Now, get yo sorry ass outta here.’
==================================================================
Stewie Griffin, world’s most renowned sage of the late 20th and early 21st centuries
“Like when God told Abraham to kill Isaac . . . Oh! I love God! He’s so deliciously evil.” (excerpt from Season 2 Episode 2)
